No Safe Place To Stand

 

The search.

If we focus long enough we can see;

There is Life and there is Death.

By each step we search for both,

By each desire we have chosen one.

It is undeniable which we truly want – Life,

Just as a newborn naturally wants Mother.

Time and again the focus tunnels us home,

Landing in the desert, we are brought to safety.

Quasi.

Sometimes I feel like I am already gone,

Other times I feel far too present.

Akin to fickle leaves before their season of emptying,

While still similar to the unwavering root of the baobab.

But is there a consummation to it all?

Somehow in my own dim confusion I see Peace.

Time and again the focus tunnels me home,

In the desert I begin to hear the tender whispers.

Chaos.

The answer leaves me standing in the desert.

In the desert what you lose is time,

In the desert what you gain is newness.

In the chaos of the desert there is no safe place to stand,

But one ever told me that chaos felt so like peace.

My only option is to step;

My only option is Life.

 

 

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Running From Love

Words are short.
She was perfect to look upon,
As an adventurous fairy-tale read to a child.
She was a miracle;
New like the dawn of a Spring morning,
Sweet like Trader Joe’s cheese,
Opportune like the refresh button fixing website glitches.
Her melody is a luxury;
Her vitality is a necessity.

You don’t know it,
But sometimes I peak through your window.
You look different when I peak – you’re off guard.
I dote on you.
If you’ve come here for a compliment, you’ve come to the right place.
And if I had a nickel for every time I thought that…
I’d have 47 nickels;
Enough for my nephew to buy chocolates for his kindergarten crush;
And if it can work for him…

Words are misleading.
Only I am perfect.
Your true heart precludes your perfection;
You are not perfect,
You never were a miracle.
You’re simply a girl, running from me.

You were born running from me.

I peak through your window but I only see myself.
It was always myself. New, yet broken;
Like the bad sequel of a good movie.
As cliché as vintage knock knock jokes.
Fake like plastic cheese in a storefront window.
On the brink of the curtains closing, I turn around,
I now see that it is Jesus looking in on me.

The Word is fulfilling.
My feet finally at ease.
The room fills empty as I look back at Jesus;
His love replaces the emptiness,
No words can grade the transcendence of His stare.
He is peaking in on me.
He is peaking in on us.
Us, His Church, His Perfection, His Miracle. His Bride.
If we’ve come for a compliment, then we’ve come to the wrong place.
If we’ve come for love and vitality –
Or just to simply stop running, then…welcome home.

An Ode to Bruce Jenner and Chaos Theory

My taste buds tingle at the nearness.

The forbidden pleasure – ever-so close,

The possible fulfillment – ever-so tangible.

My eyes visualize the initial beauty,

To the touch I sense the delicacy.

Even my heart jumps for more.

.

Warnings of its truth flutter in my thoughts,

Yet the promise of instant satisfaction overrule.

‘It will satisfy me! It will better me. It will satisfy.’

The chant of song rings, confirming my heart’s reason.

Hitherto it was secret; now it is publicly my love.

Once far, now near. Once forbidden, now accepted.

My heart jumps for more.

.

The acceptance from others guide me deeper,

The change in their ethos makes me a hero.

‘It satisfies you! It completes you. It is you.’

The chants of the crowd rally me to reassurance.

Hitherto my eyes used to see the true sin of it all,

Now my eyes only see beauty.

Thin, shallow, false, beautiful beauty.

Lost, my heart jumps for more.

.

A Paralyzing Light

It was only a lifetime ago when I saw the glare.

Truthfully, it was a moment ago when I saw the glare.

It shone upon me, presumptuous in nature and foreign in existence,

with a demanding pull which stretched the room from end to end.

Its tangible touch caused the depths of my soul to tingle;

Moreover, its abstract unfamiliarity overpowered my emotions.

My gut-reaction was to close my eyes, as a child splashing in ocean waves.

The others in the room had the same reaction.

Not one of us moved. Not even one.

We wanted to change … from being lukewarm.

We were urged to follow the archetypal Light.

Urged to live as the Light designed.

.

The whispers of the shadows were permeated with darkness.

They were poison by nature but delectably delicious in taste –

with a subtle push that my soul could barely detect.

The deceptive push brought about an alluring temptation to my flesh.

Eventually, I allowed the whispers to take control of my mind.

My focus began swaying away from the promising light.

The others in the room had the same disposition,

I could see that everyone was emotionless. Paralyzed.

Not one of us moving. Not even when the church service ended.

Remnants of Revelation 3:16 echoed as The Light waned and Darkness silenced.

We, the Laodiceans, were left to choose –

Warned to choose.

Urged to choose the joyful light,

but drawing closer and closer toward the alluring darkness.