An Ode to Bruce Jenner and Chaos Theory

My taste buds tingle at the nearness.

The forbidden pleasure – ever-so close,

The possible fulfillment – ever-so tangible.

My eyes visualize the initial beauty,

To the touch I sense the delicacy.

Even my heart jumps for more.


Warnings of its truth flutter in my thoughts,

Yet the promise of instant satisfaction overrule.

‘It will satisfy me! It will better me. It will satisfy.’

The chant of song rings, confirming my heart’s reason.

Hitherto it was secret; now it is publicly my love.

Once far, now near. Once forbidden, now accepted.

My heart jumps for more.


The acceptance from others guide me deeper,

The change in their ethos makes me a hero.

‘It satisfies you! It completes you. It is you.’

The chants of the crowd rally me to reassurance.

Hitherto my eyes used to see the true sin of it all,

Now my eyes only see beauty.

Thin, shallow, false, beautiful beauty.

Lost, my heart jumps for more.


There was the Young Man, Drowning in the Sink…

There was the young man, drowning in the sink. Everyone says that it was because of gravity that he was drowning. Unfortunately, they were right. His older brother looked on as he helplessly stood just a few feet away. The gravity of sin pulled the young man deeper and deeper into the waters until his fight for breath was as meaningless as a caged bird.

With civility, Sin initially used his charm to lead the young man to the sink. The older brother did not scruple to attempt to take his brother away from Sin’s grip. However, little did the older brother know, Sin had a grip on him as well. Soon enough the older brother grew passive and was frozen in place. So much so..….that he was powerless to help. Complications were more layered than tiramisu. All hope was lost for the brothers. Sin rejoiced as he was winning the war.

Things were not always this way. There was once a time when things were pure and life seemed innocuous. Is this not the human experience: that in one moment everything can be so beautiful and right, and then in one fellow swoop (a phone call, an accident, one conversation) there becomes all this weight laid on your soul. All of a sudden your soul cannot breathe because the gravity of sin is too much to bear. Sometimes the change is quick. Sometimes the change is slow-moving, With the great wisdom of Sin, most of the time the latter method is the case. One minute you’re on a raft close to shore and the next minute, without realizing, the waves have drifted you out into the sea. Whether it’s sin, loss, betrayal, hate, or whether it’s being overwhelmed; you then cry out for God’s nearness and help, but the only voice you hear is darkness. Or maybe the devil himself. Or sometimes worse…. you hear nothing at all. Maybe, nothing at all. Such scary times there.


The young man hadn’t noticed his far drift until it was too late. He was not lying in a sink – to the contrary, he was drowning in the ocean waters. His death was imminent. On the other side, the older brother’s passiveness caused his ability to save his brother to be nonexistent. The young man finally gives up. His lungs begin to fill with water. His heartbeat slows down. His skin coloring grows dark. His heart beats its last beat. His older brother, still looking on, drops to his knees in gloomy defeat.


Suddenly, with all hope lost and with Sin and death close to victorious reign, Love interrupts. The loving Narrator of the story interjects Himself. The omnipotent Narrator who knew the characters before writing the story, who created the story, and who knows how it ends as He types away … suddenly appears. For He is the only one who can save the brothers. He is the perfect one that loves both idiotic brothers and can shift them back onto the path he designed them to walk long before the story began. For what the brothers were powerless to do because they were weakened by their flesh, the Narrator freely did – Even as the brothers did not deserve to be saved. The narrator turns a hopeless story into a story of good news! Odd thing is, the Narrator could have corrected things a long time ago but chose to wait. Why? That is something for us to wrestle with until we meet Him face to face. We do know that He does as he pleases with the powers of heaven and the peoples of the earth. No one can hold back his hand or say to him: “What have you done?”

The book of Hebrews says that Jesus endured all that loss and betrayal. It describes that he also suffered a brutal death. It claims that He endured those things so that He can empathize with us and say, “I know how these hard times feel”. Luckily Jesus the Empathizer is also Jesus the Narrator who is in control of the entire story. There is a warm blanket to our soul in knowing that our Narrator intimately knows us, loves us, and has the ultimate power to save us.

What an almighty and glorious narrator that would be.

“God the Movie Character” versus “God the God”

My three-year-old nephew just may be one of the world’s worst hide and seekers. For some reason he thinks that he is able to hide 3 feet away from where I am counting and not be found. For some reason having bed sheets cover your upper body makes you invisible. His favorite movie to watch is Ice Age. Oddly enough, he is a staunch advocate for ONLY watching the few scenes with the squirrel chasing the acorn. We basically have to repeatedly fast forward through 85% of the movie just so that he can watch those hilarious “squirrel” moments. My nephew also likes to laugh, run around and hug. He can be tiring….but….believe me, I don’t mind at all. I can watch him watch Ice Age for hours. It feels so good just to be able to sit in the joy of his presence. My mini-me. It is tough living 7 hours away from him now.

There is a picture of my little nephew on my fridge. There are three other photos spread across on my coffee table, ha.  They help me remember his smile everyday and it pulls this lever of warm happiness in my head. I love that kid. But in an awkward paradox, I also hate the photos. Sometimes I want to just put them away so that I cannot see them. The reason for this being that they play with my emotions. They leave me empty inside because I realize that I cannot really see him.  The photos are not the real thing….they aren’t my fun, joyful nephew. I can’t hug it tight and teach it to hit a baseball. The photos are not willing to race me in the backyard. And it surely does not ask me to play the Gummy Bear Song on my laptop 20 times a day. As much as those pictures do serve me well….I hit a ceiling with them every time. I do not know the pictures. They fail to give me the sustaining love that my nephew brings. It is very frustrating.

In the same way, we should be frustrated when we settle for the concept of God instead of the reality of Him. The grace and love that God has allotted to us is very tough to receive when he is simply a concept to be thought on. On the other hand, a reality is something that we can grasp. One way this plays out when we go to church, sing a few songs, pray the same systematic prayer, and then make sure that we do not curse as we drive home. We turn church into a hobby and turn God into a “thought”.  Jesus becomes a movie character we know about, instead of a God we know & love. All the while we are short-changing ourselves. Are we treating God like a concept or like a reality?

When the explosion occurred at the Boston Marathon last week, all of America was reminded of the reality of terrorism. We remembered the reality of how short life is and the evil in this world. This changed us, in a positive way, for a few days. Two weeks ago most of America only viewed terrorism as a concept (even as we all very well know that it is real) because we have not been attacked in a while. However, these past few days, we have been focused on the realities of terrorism as our eyes have been reopened. Cancer is only a concept to me because I haven’t had anyone extremely close be affected by it. But let my mother catch it…then you’ve got my heart’s attention to it’s reality. Then you’ve got me on my knees praying to God about cancer.

We must press for our walk with Christ to be the same way, without needing something tragic to remind us. The more that we spend with our thoughts on the Lord and speaking with him the more we will experience his presence. He will become a reality and not just a few words in a big book (our a picture on the fridge). King David says “But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge…” Psalm 73:28. David, who was a chief sinner in the Bible, experienced a beautiful closeness with our Lord. This is a man who committed adultery and then had the nerve to have the husband of his mistress killed. Still, the Bible calls him a man after God’s own heart, Acts 13:22. Is this not an open door invitation that maybe, even we average-level sinners, can have that closeness as well?

The gravity of knowing God and trying to sync up with him is a reality that God wants us to know personally. I love it when I get the chance to be around Charismatic believers. They get this particular aspect of the Gospel down so well. They have a holy-exuberance that they meditate in constantly and the fruit can be seen from it. I pray that we grasp him closer and hone in on these truths more.  He physically came into this world. He did die for us. He did resurrect. He IS returning. Yes, Yes, Yes, he is returning. [Matthew 24:30]

I hope that my nephew reads this blog post after he learns to read. This may get me a few cool points AND help in his sanctification. Clutch victory there.